Ripples of Light

Posted on November 29, 2012

Image Source: © All rights reserved by Andy_M1981

I’ve been MIA for a couple of weeks.  What with the busyness of preparing for DH to come home for the holiday, the holiday weekend, recovery from the holiday (many days activity all shoved into a few), and having been overwhelmed by the energies of late…  It’s been a bit to deal with.  This morning, though, I realized there was a little more to my absence…

Every couple of weeks I have a call with my spiritual mentor.  It was through discussion with her this morning that I discovered a potentially big obstacle standing in the way of my accomplishing challenges I know have been set before me.  Self-doubt.  A nagging sense of “unworthiness”.  How, I wondered, does one go from a need to remain under the radar to a point where one welcomes attention, even negative attention knowing all attention attracts more.  For it is through attention that bits of wisdom are passed to those who need to hear it in any given moment.  It is something that I’m going to have to address and work on in the future…

Further into our conversation, she told me, “You are a creature of light.”  It was those words that reminded me of discussions I have had with some of you in the past, here as well as on your blogs.  What good is one’s light, if it remains hidden, never allowed to shine?

She [my mentor] admitted to me that, even to this day, she has moments of self doubt, moments when she wonders if she, herself, is making a difference.  (That’s what I love about her and working with her… she’s very down-to-earth, always reminding me that just because she – or any of us for that matter – embarked upon the path of Spirit, never means that she ceased to be human with some human “failings” still something that she has to face from time to time.)

Through a series of tales, she painted a picture, illustrating and reinforcing the “ripple effect” for me.  One of a fictional woman, who – through a few kind words and encouragement – decides she won’t go home and kill herself after all and goes on to see her grandchild born, in whose life she has a large influence, and he/she later goes on to become some great leader.  Another of a real woman, who, as a cashier at Wal-Mart, endured the verbal abuse of a customer went on to commit suicide later that day.

We touch the lives of so many people throughout all our days.  Sometimes we are able to see the effects our words and deeds have upon them.  Others, we are left never knowing.

Even as my mentor shared these insights with me, some things occurred to me…

I do not always know what to share here, though, I strive for my posts to be thought-provoking and real.  I am just another ball of light encased in a carbon-based life form, trying to make its way through this sometimes murky, often confounding, but always beautiful and awe-inspiring world we inhabit.

There are SO many wise individuals out there already sharing the truths time has revealed.  I know this because I run into them everywhere.  On the bookshelf, online – on websites, through social networking – and if I’m just fortunate enough… in person.  It leaves me wondering what I possibly have to offer?  After all, hasn’t it all been done already by those much more experienced (and famous, I might add)? Yet… while my perspectives and experiences aren’t 100% unique, the two aspects put together are.  The lens through which I view life through… that IS unique and worth sharing with others.

Even as our conversation progressed, there was one thought…  If I touch even one life, none of my efforts will have been for naught.  And, I have been blessed enough to know that I have – through this blog – touched the lives of a few people already.  So… while the lens of self doubt has not yet been shattered, there is a crack.  I may not always be aware of the lives my light touches, but touches them, it does, and that is enough.

Much love and many blessings to you all, my friends.  I promise to be back, again, soon.

~ D

Posted in: Musings